Woman's Day, November 1969

I'm back with another magazine from the collection I picked up last month.  I know, I just did one of these.  Hey, sales have been slow!  Again from November of 1969, it's "Woman's Day".  And it's only 20 cents!  Actually, to you it's free.  To me, it cost 50 cents, so I guess it averages out.

The promise of knitted items for both you and the family pet must have been an irresistible selling point.

What's so scary about Quiche Lorraine?  Let me count the ways...

Correction, Dan River Announces vomit-colored Carpet.

Carpet in the kitchen = bad idea.

I question the honesty of this ad.  Are you telling me all 7 of these identical looking biscuits were submitted by 7 different home bakers? I smell something, and it sure ain't the biscuits.

I don't know what you do all day at your silly little job, honey, but here, have some pudding tarts.

Looking through this magazine and seeing the shag carpeting, the terrariums, and the general decline in style, one can see the '70's were not about to wait on the calendar.

The cartoonist for this article is Whitney Darrow Jr who was a graduate of Princeton University and was a "New Yorker" contributor for 50 years.  He studied at the Art Students League of New York under the tutelage (I've always wanted to use that word in a serious sentence) of painter Thomas Hart Benton.

Here you go: 100 Christmas gifts to make.  I don't want to hear you don't have any ideas for your family this year.

"Less than 5 hours, less than $5" for a gift the recipient couldn't care less about.

When is a chicken not a chicken?  When it's been desecrated by the glop in this ad.

I'm not so sure how safe I'd feel sitting on this clearly sentient toilet or how much longer it would be smiling after I sat on it.

Careful kids, that polyunsaturation might be the only thing preserving granny.

"Jimmy Osborn snitched 3 off the counter while his mother wasn't looking. (She didn't mind because she knows prunes are good for him".  Plus she knew he'd be in the bathroom for the next 3 hours so no trouble finding him for dinner.

It's a little surreal when you see something that you've bought at a garage sale for sale in a vintage magazine that you bought at a estate sale .  I have that "Twinkle Twinkle Little Tree" I picked up at a garage sale some years ago.

The internet offers little information on the wild-eyed author of "How to Make Money Writing Short Paragraphs" Benson Barrett except this excerpt from his book which offers a glimpse into his mad world.

Similar to the Helen Gallagher-Foster House catalog insert from my last post, this Greenland Studios catalog insert offers crap galore.  I guess people needed some source for this stuff before QVC and HSN.

"Grandpa's Car Runs, Smokes, Lights Up!"  Not unlike grandpa himself.

"Wide-eyed doll will steal your heart!"  AND YOUR SOUL!!!!!

"Hand your Christmas guests Santa Soap!"  Nothing like welcoming your guests with the implication that they're nothing but a bunch of filthy animals.

"Doll on a Necklace" appears to be a knockoff of Mattel's freakishly large-headed "Liddle Kiddles" doll line.

"...tassel point is a whimsical touch to make you stand out!"  Do you really need any help making this stand out?  And what exactly is a "schnozzle"?  Are we sure this is being worn properly?