What was on TV May 19th through 25th, 1979

Schlemieling and schlimazeling all over the cover of this week's TV Guide from 1979 is another Richard Amsel painting of Laverne & Shirley.  I'm not sure why TV Guide always had paintings instead of actual photos.  Maybe they didn't have to pay stars if they didn't use their actual image.

Once again assisting with zingers and one-liners is friend John.

The driver of the Cutlass should spend less time watching his car and more time watching the road. He is about to get t-boned by that streetcar.

It always angered me as a child that no one else could see Snuffle-Upagus except Big Bird and no one ever believed Big Bird when he would tell them about Snuffle-Upagus.  Probably because I had the same problem with that evil leprechaun that lived in my closet that always told me to burn things.

Nothing says "I love you" more than spending less than $15 on a hunk of plastic that will take crappy photos.

Spoiler alert! Johnny Carson didn't quit.

I don't know who or what was to blame for no Human Torch in the Fantastic Four cartoon (Kids might set themselves on fire! The Torch's rights were owned by another company! It was too hard to animate!). All I know is that Herbie the robot was a travesty foisted on the youth of America. A travesty!

I actually found the LP soundtrack for the Rankin/Bass Hobbit special at a garage sale for $1.  I sold it for $50 on eBay capitalizing on "Hobbit Fever" when the second movie came out last Christmas.  I know... To quote Daffy Duck, "I can't help it, I'm a greedy slob."

Incidentally, in that episode of CHiPs, the motorcycle daredevil was played by Robbie Knievel, son of Evel.

Are the Nightingales putting the Fingernail Dolly back together or are they helping him/her go straight? I'm confused.  I don't know what's worse, the premise of this show or the painting. It looks like it was done by a high school art student.  I'd give it an F-.

Based on the amount of gore on the shirt of the dude next to Jerry Lewis, I think the film should be entitled "Delicate Murderer."

Looking through the Saturday and Sunday afternoon offerings on Channel 11 and 30, I now understand why mankind once believed Jerry Lewis was an inexhaustible natural resource.  What fools we were.  What fools we were.

I think the Guinness Book of World Records was trying to horn in on "That's Incredible"'s gig.  I'm not sure the "World's Largest Cigar" is worthy of the Guiness Book of World Records itself much less the tv special.

1990 seems an odd choice for the "future." I'm suprised Channel 5 didn't just round up to the year 2000 to give it a more Buck Rogers kind of feel.

Ain't that cute, a broad in the army.  What will those woman libbers think of next?

I would not call being stuck with Maureen McCormick, Barbara Feldon and Priscilla Barnes as being a vacation in hell. 

Quiz: In which panel is she having a sweet dream and which one is she having a nightmare?  Trick question, she's dreaming of Fred "Gopher" Grandy in both pictures.  Sweet dream or nightmare -- you decide.

I dare you:

Helen Reddy was electrifying? Really? I've said it before and I'll say it again. The 1970s were just a weird time for this country.

Barry Manilow doing his best Willie Wonka. A third Barry Manilow special? A whole HOUR of Barry and John Denver. Just shoot me now.

But seriously, look at the quantity of specials this week: Shirley McClaine, Glen Campbell, Helen Reddy, Barry Manilow. Tell me again, why do we hate the 70's???

Archie Bunker sings with Mike: "Meatheads, nothing more than Meatheads..."*

*To the tune of "Feelings"

 Raleigh Lights delivers another Norman Rockwell inspired ad.  The two things the guy is most proud of in his life are his dog and his smokes?

K-mart was using the phrase Girl Power way before the Spice Girls. They should have sued them for infringement.

That hair is the definition of "sassy".

That wraps up this week's TV Guide once again.  We now resturn you to our regularly scheduled programming, already in progress.