Monday, May 20, 2019

Happy Homemaking through Subjugation

This guide to Happy Homemaking is clearly aimed at the lady of the house and probably dates from the late 1950's given the dead-ringer for June Cleaver on the cover. Brought to you by the editors of Modern Romances. Enjoy!  AND GET COOKIN'!

Serve him right, ladies.  "Whether you are home all day, or whether you work, COOKING IS STILL YOUR JOB!" DON'T SHIRK YOUR WIFELY DUTIES! And get him his pipe and slippers while he waits.

"If you like to do things to please that man of yours, here's your chance. This is one field that is exclusively yours..."  That's right, if you can't rely on his fidelity, at least you can rely on his stomach.

"The best way to get your man on his toes, ready for a big day's work, is to set him down to a good breakfast. That means fruit or juice, cereal with milk and sugar, bread, butter and a beverage. He should have eggs and a breakfast meat too."  More like, the best way to make your man logy at his 10:00 a.m. meeting. Hope he wakes up in time for that lunch you packed.

I like how with cold meats, you have one choice for a starch: potato salad. Could we allow for the occasional macaroni salad? Perhaps on special occasions? No?

The centerfold provides a fun little look into 1950's products.

As a man, I can attest that not all men love "Cream of Wheat".

I love the idea of serving a Baby Ruth cut up as dessert?  Is it finger food or do you use a fork?

"Keep a "Pineapple Shelf".  Brought to you by the pineapple growers of Hawaii (not a state yet).

The most exciting thing I could find on "Clopay" was their lawsuit against another company for infringing upon their water-proof linings used in their incontinent pads.

"Follow up that welcome home kiss with a nice cool refresher or hot bracer, depending on the season."  We're talking about drinks, right? 

"You'll be able to see your husband relax...and you'll find he'll appreciate you and your dinners more."  Just don't forget the pipe and slippers.  Write it down.

"Potato Chips with Cheese: Add cream to cottage cheese. Season with salt, pepper and onion salt. Spread on potato Chips and put a slice of olive on top."  I have no words.

"Try Some Sandwich Witchery".  The early colonists were hung for such misdeeds.

Free Recipe and Homemaking Booklets:
Pineapple Pantry Recipes.  Man, they went from a pineapple shelf to an entire pantry devoted to them. That pineapple consortium sure has some pull.  I hope they don't find my coconut closet.

"How to Select the Best Home Laundry for You. Covers advantages of Speed Queen wringer and automatic type washers, dryer, ironer."  I wonder what brand they end up recommending.

"Bendix Duomatic".  LG still makes a washer/dryer combo unit.  The idea seems as flawed as the TV/VCR combo of the 80's. One goes out and makes the other useless.  Here's a commercial pushing Bendix's 1956 model.

Even the label for this is a sign of the times with it being addressed to her via her husband's name.  By the way, that raised "F" reminds me of every mystery TV show that's involved a typewriter.  Find the typewriter, and you'll find the killer.  Or Jan's secret admirer in the case of Brady Bunch's "Lost Locket, Found Locket" episode.  I knew it was Alice all along. Not creepy at all.

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