Friday, June 20, 2014

What was on TV June 3rd through 9th, 1978

I'm a couple weeks late with this issue, but it couldn't be held another year -- it was just too good.  Friend John joins in once again with an assist on humor.

I don't think any TV Guide cover summed up the 1970's better than this one. Full of shattered glass, testosterone and hideous shirts.

Remember when bikes handle bars were flipped upside down to lower your profile and increase wind drag efficiency?  Nobody I knew actually used them that way.  They just held onto and steered with the top.

Two Ed McMahons means that the store probably sold out of Budweiser in a hurry.  Oh, and Ed #1, you might not want to bike through Europe making that gesture.

Another mystery model for Virginia Slims.  You have to admit, this ad campaign was pretty clever.

Did the concerned viewer unplugging their TV every night do it while wearing a tinfoil hat?  If he was smart he did.  Protected him from subliminal ads too.

Heard in the pitch session for "Speed Buggy": "The kids love Scooby Doo. We want to capture some of the Scooby Doo magic. I know! Let's take the same formula, complete with the vaguely hippyish dude wearing green. But...instead of a talking dog with a speech impediment we'll use a talking car with a speech impediment."

Every once in a while, Henry Winkler would do these very un-Fonzie-like shows.  Very confusing to me as a child.

I swear Bonnie Franklin's head is pasted on someone else's body.  Where's her neck? It reminds me of that old Steve Martin routine: "When she walked into a room, all heads would turn.  Except hers, because she had no neck!"

Reading through that list of Sears Portrait Studio locations is like reading St. Louis mall obituaries.

"In the dark" is probably not an image you want to project about your news team.

 Lose weight in days so you too can wear a hip vesty painsuit ensemble.

Even through the haze, there's no mistaking the man-stache that is Geraldo Rivera.

Based on that afteroon line-up, I know exactly what I was doing weekdays from 4:30 to 6:00.

Mike Brady's man perm was just a bad idea. The horror, the horror.

The Everyday Gourmet's logo looks like he was trying to cook an amoeba in a soup pot.

Having read how movie studios creatively edit reviews to make a movie look better, I can only imagine some of the comments about the Plymouth Horizon. "What a piece of crap! It lacks everything Americans prize most: ride and comfort." "A gasoline miser and that's the nicest thing we can say about this deathtrap."

Just reading the words "champale malt liquor" is giving me a hangover.

Even jock itch ads were jumping on the Star Wars band wagon by 1978.  Oh, and it was nice of Plough, Inc. to include a helpful arrow in their Aftate logo to let people know where it needs to be sprayed.

Oh, Orson. You'd fallen so far by then. But wasn't part of the attraction in having Orson Welles pitch a product was that rich, vocal delivery? A print ad just shows a bearded fat man who isn't Santa Claus holding a 110 film camera.

I can almost hear Orson as he read the copy for this ad.  "'With the Vivitar, you'll never miss a picture because you're looking for an add-on flash.'"  Come on, fellas.  Nobody in the world talks like that.  'Even when someone moves or when you move.'  That's not even a sentence!"

If you're not familiar with the Orson Welles "Frozen Peas" rant, do yourself a favor and listen.  It's even been enhanced with animation that imagines what it might have looked like.  Language warning.  Orson's language gets a little spicy.


  1. wow, you're right - this one has almost everything. needs more disco. i'm glad you added in the famous orson welles rant. wasn't he completely drunk at the time? bonnie franklin's head is clearly pasted onto another body -- good catch. and ooh, the sears swag lamp store!

    1. >needs more disco.
      That's supplied by David Soul's shirt on the cover.

      >wasn't he completely drunk at the time?
      Yeah, drunk with ego.

    2. perhaps. i was confusing this with his infamous Paul Masson outtakes, where he's REALLY drunk and belligerent.


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